Well-being Is Connection - TGL

Your well-being is determined by your connection with the people around you.

I’m sixty. And I’m starting to ask different questions. Not anymore: “What do I still want to achieve?” But: “What really matters?” We grew up with the idea that a good life revolves around success. Career. Status. Independence. We invest years in these things, often without asking ourselves whether they ultimately fulfill us.

The Harvard study *The Good Life*, based on 85 years of research, reveals something different. The best predictor of well-being in later life is not income or status. It is the quality of your relationships. People who feel connected live healthier lives, recover better from setbacks, and experience a greater sense of meaning.

In 2001, I moved to The Hague. I had just gotten divorced. I had two young children. A new job. A city where I didn’t know a soul. I hardly had any time to consciously build a network. And yet, something took shape. In the schoolyard, in brief conversations, through practical help, and in the recognition of each other’s stories. Nothing grand. Nothing planned. But it was there.

My life remained full. Work, caregiving, entrepreneurship, and choices that demanded my attention. What remained was small but strong: a few good friends, my children, my partner, and my family. Warm, safe, and familiar. And that suits me.

Because here’s something we don’t say often enough: we all build connections in our own way. Socially speaking, we’re not all the same. Are you a people person? Live by that. Seek out community, surround yourself with people, and invest broadly. If you’re not—like me—then you make different choices. Fewer people, deeper connections. Quality over quantity. And that’s not a shortcoming. That’s self-knowledge.

What doesn’t work is building a network that doesn’t suit you. You might end up feeling lonely even with a full schedule, or become exhausted by social obligations that aren’t really yours. But even a network that does suit you requires maintenance. A social network isn’t a possession. It’s a living thing. It evolves along with your age, your energy, and your circumstances. The people who are in your life now might not be there in ten years. And vice versa.

That’s exactly why I’m making more conscious choices now. In the people close to me. In small encounters that have meaning. In connections that don’t have to be grand, but are genuine. Not because I have to, but because I still can.

Growing older requires honesty. Who am I really? Where do I feel a sense of connection? Which relationships contribute to my well-being? Because well-being isn’t just about staying healthy, living independently, or planning for the future financially. It’s also about the people around you.

So build a network that fits who you are. Small or large. Broad or deep. But build it intentionally.

Because connection doesn't happen on its own. And that's exactly why it's so valuable.

Are you curious about your social network? Take the MLM-tool.